We’re back to that resilience thing I wrote about quite some time ago. Click here to read how I feel about resilience. I know it could be SO much worse, and once in a while when things are harder, my thoughts go to, “but God”, don’t we have enough on our plate? Why does it seem when life throws you a curve ball, more keep coming?
If you have more than one child, my guess is you love each of them equally, and you likely express your love differently based on their needs. Each of our kids are special and unique. No one else in the world can offer what he or she can. I believe this with all of my heart. We do our very best to give each of our children what we think they need from us emotionally, socially, physically, mentally, academically, etc. You get the point. We do our best to raise virtuous adults.
Sometimes circumstances and/or nature gets in the way.
We do very best, and that is all we have. At times, our very best, doesn’t seem or feel like enough, and during a trauma there is only so much we can do, even if we want to give more, circumstances can stop us. We carry the weight of our children’s bad choices on our shoulders whether they are six or twenty-one.
Sometimes, no matter what we do or say, I believe nature will take over nurture and our children can take a destructive path. It comes to a point where we have to set boundaries, and they have to figure it out on their own.
For parents and loved ones, watching the destruction, makes for heartbreak, anger, pain, frustration, sadness, despair, etc. It’s a road no parent foresees for their child. We can try all the things the experts say to do, but those things don’t always work. It’s a road you think can’t happen to you, because you are good parents.
We fight for all of our children. We love each of them equally and want them to have happy, successful lives. They grow up and make decisions of their own. How we set our boundaries doesn’t mean we love them any less. We can set boundaries and love our kids at the same time. Boundaries are an important part to healthy mental health and love for our children.
I have to admit, most of us in this family have handled adversity like rock stars. Daily, I hope, pray, and believe, someday I can tell this part of our story. It WILL BE a story that ends with restoration, meaning better than it was before.
We fight for all of our children and sometimes that means letting go of what we cannot fix or change. At the end of the day, there is very little we have control over and we have to rely on hope. Hope that the old will be made new. Hope that faith will prevail over our fears. Hope that restoration will come.