Covid and Then Some
April was not so fun in this house, but thankfully we have all recovered. Most importantly to us, Sam is okay and we kept him out of the hospital.
It started with me not feeling too great. I already tested negative for Covid earlier in the week because we knew we had been exposed. When I started feeling cruddy, I tested again. Negative. Whew.
I had several rough days. Thank you Lord for home care nursing! On a normal day with Sam, we are incredibly thankful for our home care nurses. When he gets sick, even more grateful. Add me getting sick on top of all that. Home care nurses. No words.
Sam tested negative too, but then started getting sick a few days after I was feeling cruddy. Oh shoot. He was really sick for a good six days. He was on oxygen for four days and all the home therapies we could do that aren’t legal in most homes. We did get very close to having to bring him to the hospital, but we were able to keep him home. Again, home care nurses. Priceless.
About a week later, after I had started feeling better, I couldn’t smell or taste anything. Wait a minute!?!? I went and tested again. As I suspected...positive for Covid. What?! Those of you who have experienced these symptoms of Covid can understand how annoying it is! I’m happy to say it didn’t last too long.
Sam’s pulmonologist sent a nurse to the house to test Sam. Positive. Bummer. There was a lot of praying on my part, that he would be okay and we would be able to keep him out of the hospital.
Sean tested positive. The next day he started feeling cruddy. He was all excited to be able to get some things done around the house, but he was down for the count for almost ten days.
Will and Abby both tested negative, but had to do distance learning until their quarantine was up. Have I ever mentioned how much I love distance learning? Oh yeah, cause I don’t, not even a little. Because Abby ended up testing positive, she was able to go back to school a few days before Will. I’ve stopped trying to make sense of all the Covid rules.
During all this hoopla, I found out my grandma passed away. She was ninety-five, went peacefully, and although she was dealt a hard hand of cards in life, she lived a good life. Her legacy? She loved Jesus, taught us to pray, read our Bible, and have a relationship with Jesus.
Towards the end of her life, she could barely speak. I know she recognized us when my sister and I saw her for the first time in a long time. She clearly said two of my four children’s names. It wasn’t by chance she squeezed the two names out I have fought for on my knees in prayer countless times the past four plus years. I believe it was her heart that said those two names that day.
We didn’t get to go to her funeral, but this is where technology is a blessing. Thank you to my brother-in-law who held his phone up the entire funeral service so I could “be there”.
Me, and how I remember, my sweet Grandma.
While Sam was sick, he was scheduled to have an upper endoscopy to check on his esophagus. As we suspected, surgery needed to be rescheduled.
To recap, Sam’s last dilation was in January. His surgeon told us, when Sam can go for six months without a dilation, he’ll give us the “a-okay” to go to Cincinnati.
Tomorrow, Sam will have his rescheduled procedure. It’s been almost exactly four months since Sam’s last dilation. We are hoping and praying, he will not need to be dilated.
Sam Strong.
Faith Over Fear.
Dilation #5 Update
I suppose no news is good news, right? For the most part, yes.
Sam’s dilation went very well. His esophagus was very narrow, but not as narrow as the last time he got dilated. Good news!
Again, we wait. If symptoms begin, we call surgery and they get Sam on the schedule. Generally, his symptoms consist of retching (throwing up), which start to become more frequent and violent as time goes on. Eventually, he’s not able to control his secretions, so he spits a lot too. Basically, he still creates secretions (spit), but if his esophagus is narrow enough or closed, there is no other place for the secretions to go except out his mouth. This makes for a very nauseous little boy. Poor guy.
After Sam’s dilation, his surgeon discussed WHEN Sam is able to go three months without a dilation, then he’ll plan to get Sam on the schedule to look at his esophagus. If things look good and open, we wait again. When Sam can go for at least six months without a dilation then his surgeon will feel good about us planning another trip to Cincinnati to hopefully get his airway fixed.
Sam also had a granuloma cauterized or how I like to make it more visual for you, the extra skin on the hole in his throat, sizzled off by a fire pen. This went well too. Although, it was a lot to look at after. For the next week or so, we cleaned gross puss and what looked like black soot around his trach site. Yuck and again, poor guy! Thankfully, it all healed very nicely.
The day after Sam’s dilation he seemed like he was recovering well. When he woke up the next morning, things went south very quickly. He ended up with a tracheitis. He had a couple of very rough days. We were able to catch this right away and treat the nasty, airway bacterial infection. Along with our hard work and the antibiotic nebs, like magic, Sam was back to his lively self in no time. Thank you for home care nurses!
Except for the spitting. No, not another thing, little buddy. His demeanor was back to his norm, but he wouldn’t swallow his secretions. Per Surgery we should bring him in to be evaluated in the next couple of days, unless things got worse, which for Sam means going to the ED (Emergency Department). Not the dreaded ED.Besides him not swallowing his secretions, he seems totally fine. Sometimes I wish they had another place for complex kids to go in these situations.
The next day, after talking with Sam’s Pulmonologist, she too thought he should be evaluated. Bummer.
We had planned to take him in early the next morning, knowing the less busy times of the ED. Sam had different plans. Good plans! When he woke up, the spitting had stopped!!! Thank you Lord!!!
Sam has been back to his spunky self, continuing to teach us what life is all about.
Sam Strong!
Faith Over Fear!
No News is Good News
Sam’s dilation went well. His esophagus was VERY strictured (narrow), almost shut again. The dilation was definitely needed.
As in the past, as soon as Sam gets dilated, his spitting and retching almost instantaneously stop. These are usually the tell tale signs he needs a dilation. Unfortunately, there isn’t anything else that can be done, except put him under anesthesia, and stretch his esophagus.
As of now, surgery will wait to hear from us. IF Sam gets symptoms, they will put him on the schedule as needed. With Sam’s thirty-five plus esophageal dilations, we’ve only been wrong once. There are many, but one great thing about Sam’s care team, is they trust our judgment. They listen, really listen to us. I call the surgery scheduler, who I’m on a first name basis with, and they get him on the surgery schedule ASAP.
We are going to believe Sam won’t need as many dilations as the first time, and even better, he won’t need anymore.
I’ll leave you with a moment from a day in the life of Superman Sam. You just can’t make this stuff up!
We were sitting in “school” with Sam. When Sam does distance learning, we prop his iPad on the kitchen island and he sits on one of the bar stools. I usually stand next to him. His nurse will stand or sit on the stool on the other side of him. All of the sudden, I thought I noticed something about Sam’s mouth. Does he have a missing tooth?!?! With Sam’s camera on, I didn’t want to disrupt school.
As soon as school was over, Sam’s nurse and I pried open his mouth. Yes, we had to do this. It’s the only way to be able to see inside his mouth. Yep, I saw it right the first time, a bottom, front, tooth, MIA! What?!?! Where did it go?!?! Did he swallow it?!?! Was it in his bedroom somewhere?!?!How did I not know he had a loose tooth?!?!
Mom guilt, setting in. And then, that good ole self talk. Stop it!! You have a lot more things to keep track of in the world of Sam, then a loose tooth!!! It’s not a big deal!! He’s clearly okay!!
Mom guilt. Raise your hand if you’re a mom and have had mom guilt recently. Okay, I’m feeling better already. It’s so silly. Why do we do this to ourselves? Because, we’re human.
Give yourself grace mama. To me, giving yourself grace is acknowledging the situation, doing what you can to rectify it, then moving on, and letting it go. It’s knowing, we are not perfect.
From the mama with typical children, to the mama with special needs children, to the mama of a prodigal, and everything in between, give yourself grace, because we all need it, every single day.
Sam Strong!
Faith Over Fear!
Dilation
Home sweet home.
We out!
I can’t wait to be home!
Sam was happy, but also nervous at times, when we left the hospital. He walked out with excitement, but would stop here and there, and clench my leg with with fear. I can’t imagine what was going through his head. That’s the thing about having a nonverbal child. I can read his emotions, but I also know there is so much more attached to those emotions and so much going on in that little brain of his. I would love to hear it all. Someday.
Overall, Sam has been doing well. His nights have been rough, but his days have been mostly good. Home care nurses, priceless. Both him and I are definitely happy to be home.
You couldn’t put a price tag on when Sam saw his Abby for the first time, in over six weeks. Let me remind you, Abby wanted nothing to do with having a little sister or brother five years ago. The bond they have now, is priceless.
My Abby!!
I love my Abby!
Home Sweet Home
Ahhh, home sweet home. My Elmo desk, and my spoons and forks.
Most of the time he’s happy with his spoons or forks at his favorite spot in the house, his Elmo desk. Or dancing in the living room to his toddler music.
Playing with my Abby.
Watch in’ football with my people.
Sam will have another esophageal dilation tomorrow. Unfortunately, for Sam, this is a routine procedure. We know the drill. I’m not saying the drill is easy, but we definitely have it down to a science. If you’ve ever had a child have surgery and remember the process, it’s quite the ordeal. When you’re asked to be on a committee to make the patient/family experience better, pre and post op (before and after surgery), you must be a be veteran. Yep, true story.
Pray everything goes well tomorrow. Pray for Sam’s surgeon, nursing staff, and anesthesiologist.
As always, Sam Strong and Faith Over Fear!
Happy Thanksgiving! Remember, you can always find something to be thankful for. Focus on what’s good in your life. I promise, there’s something.
Following the Rules?
I’ll let you decide...
We are definitely on the home stretch!
Faith Over Fear!
Sam Strong!
Peace Even When...
On top of everything else going on, Sam developed a cold. Poor buddy can’t catch a break. It has been a rough few days. Who am I kidding, it’s been a rough thirty-two days. To be on the safe side, they did a nasal swab and trach culture. The only infection that showed is rhinovirus, aka, the common cold. Big deal, you might be thinking. At least that’s what I thought/think when my other kids caught/catch a cold.
For Sam, the common cold is rough. He’s miserable. We are constantly suctioning his trach (breathing tube). He retches a lot more because it’s hard for him to control all the extra secretions. He is also at a much greater risk for aspiration, pneumonia, and/or bronchitis. That’s where the hard work comes in for us. With continuous monitoring and safe suctioning, we can prevent these infections. Thankfully, he usually gets through the cold without complications, but it’s not easy.
Sam’s next dilation is scheduled for tomorrow at 2:45pm. As of now, he’s still scheduled. The doctors today, said if things get worse, he will have to get rescheduled. Pray for a quiet, restful night, for the cold to be short lived, and for him to be healthy enough for surgery.
Unfortunately, we are still suctioning blood from his trach. In the morning, ENT will do another bronchoscopy. This way, if they find anything, they can take care of it in surgery tomorrow afternoon.
On a good note, he is up to sixteen milliliters per hour with his feeds and we have not had to stop them!
Although this is hard, and trust me, I have my moments, for the most part, I am okay. Even in all this chaos, I am at peace. I truly believe, the more you lean on and trust in Him, the more you will feel an overwhelming peace even in the chaos.
Another Dilation
On Monday night we strolled Sam down to surgery again. They discovered his esophagus had narrowed down quite a bit since the last dilation done, only about a week prior. It wasn’t as strictured as the the first time, but enough to have it difficult for things to pass through. They dilated again.
He rested overnight and started feeds the next day. He’s on day two of feeds. The feeds were going well, up until later this evening. We decided not go up on his feeds at the designated time, and try keep them running at the slow rate they are. He’s sleeping well now, without any symptoms. Let’s hope, pray, and believe he can continue to go up on feeds without having to stop them.
Sam’s Surgeon has decided to schedule another endoscopy for early next week. He will take a look and dilate his esophagus again if needed. For whatever reason, Sam’s esophagus thinks it needs to close up post surgeries. We may have to continue this process, which is not new to Sam, but not fun for him either. Pray his esophagus stays open and will need minimal dilations.
Home. I’ve decided not to bring it up anymore. Sam has a great team, who has his best interest at heart. Home will happen when it’s best for Sam.
Faith Over Fear!
Sam Strong!
Still Here
Again, I wish I could tell you we are on the path to going home.
I wish I could tell you Sam’s feeds went well when we restarted them.
His feeds are stopped again and another plan will be made tomorrow.
Our answer with an easy fix, didn’t turn out so well. The stricture (narrowing) of his esophagus is not the only issue. Sigh. Back to the drawing board.
I can tell you, Sam is otherwise doing really well. As soon as we stopped the feeds, he seemed to feel better quickly.
He’s like a caged animal right now. We do our best to keep him entertained. Thankfully, we can take wagon and stroller rides up and down the halls and we switch out the toys every couple of days. Bottom line, we, need, to, go, home. It’s feels crazy to think we did this for over seven months.
I’ve mentally prepared myself, the PICC line will be coming home. I can still hope it won’t. More than anything, I hope they/we can figure out why he’s not tolerating his feeds.
While I know you are keeping Sam in your prayers, please pray for our other three kids too. Our love for them is no different than our love for Sam.
Faith Over Fear!
Sam Strong!
An Answer, With...
an easy fix! Thank you Lord!!
Sam needed a dilation. This is what we were all hoping for and the best case scenario. His esophagus was pretty much shut. A thing Sam likes to do after surgeries and in general. They didn’t dilate all the way being only three weeks post-op. Later, when he heals more, if he needs another one, we can come back for that. And that, is a one day ordeal, which is something we are accustomed to in our world.
He will rest tonight and we will slowly introduce feeds tomorrow. If all goes well, we will be here a bit longer, but will get to leave the PICC line here. Please, let us leave the PICC line here, Lord. Being on “PICC line watch” is really hard and especially hard with very busy little boy.
We also figured out why the blood is coming from his trach (breathing tube)! This morning, before surgery, ENT did a bronchoscopy. The blood is from suctioning past his breathing tube, something that shouldn’t be done too much. His airway is irritated, but it will heal.
Believing for no more surprises and the feeds to go well.
Thank you again for your prayers! Keep em’ coming!
Faith Over Fear!
Sam Strong!
The Power of Prayer
Not too much has changed and Sam’s still miserable, but his heart rate and blood pressure have come down a little! Thank you for your prayers!
We are at a standstill until surgery comes up with a plan. Patiently, we wait.
Until then, we’ll take all the prayers!
No Clear Answers, But...
...we have a good plan in place. Here is an extremely summarized version of the latest.
They didn’t find anything on the endoscopy. Based off Sam’s symptoms, and stopping and starting his feeds, they have narrowed down the problem to his feeds. I’ll spare you all of the medical jargon and Sam’s anatomy talk.
They will rest his bowels for the next day or so and very slowly introduce feeds. If the feeds go south again, they will do another endoscopy through his j-tube (feeding tube).
Otherwise, it may be Sam’s little gut needs more time, which means, we would be able to go home, but with a PICC line to make up for lost nutrition. Sigh. Okay, time for that good olé self talk.
The PICC line would only be temporary and we would be able to go home, where both Sam and I need to be.
On a good note, Sam had an overall good day. His strength and determination never ceases to amaze me.
Faith Over Fear!
Sam Strong!
Another Test
Today at 2:00, Sam will go down to surgery to have another test. They will do an endoscopy with contrast into his esophagus and GJ-tube (feeding tube). They are basically taking moving pictures of where things are going when he is being fed. They are mainly checking for an obstruction.
Here’s the thing, we don’t want them to find anything, but if they do and it’s an easy fix, that would be the best case scenario. Otherwise, we’re back to square one, the guessing game.
I’m not even sure what to ask you to pray for. For now, pray we can figure out what’s going on and it will be an easy fix.
Faith Over Fear!
Sam Strong!
CT Scan
The Intensivist said, “His (Sam’s) CT scan was reassuring and disappointing, at the same time. Reassuring, because the CT scan didn’t show any emergencies. We were checking to see if his bowels had twisted. Disappointing, because it didn’t tell us what is going on.”
Long story, short, Sam started throwing up earlier and didn’t stop. It became more violent and frequent as time went on.
They have him sedated again and he will stay off his feeds for tonight. Surgery will put their heads together in the morning and discuss the next best steps.
This was Sam earlier today when things were going well. He’s wasn’t quite able to walk yet, but with his determination, it won’t take long.
Trying to walk again.
This will just be a little bump. Please Lord, let this be a tiny bump.
Thank you for your continued encouragement, prayers, and support. It would make this journey a lot harder without it.
Minute by Minute
Fourteen days later, Sam seems to finally have turned the corner. Thank you Lord!
It’s been mostly hard and exhausting for both Sam and I since my last post. If I’m being honest, it’s been rough since the day of surgery. Let’s not focus on that. I tried my best to capture each glimpse of hope on camera.
Day 8...
The Pulmonologist said, “I think he gave us a scare, but he looks great.” Yeah, unfortunately he’s known for that.Those scares sure do a toll on a mama and daddy’s heart. PICU docs are the last docs you want to scare, butmy little boy is a fighter.
He smiled for the first time! Oh, how I love that precious little smile. Or I should probably say big, because when he smiles, it’s with his whole entire being.
His first smile was for his Abby (sister) on FaceTime. He melted every heart in the room. The nurse got a little choked up. This little boy wants to go home, so do I, and everyone at home wants us home. We’re getting there!
Day 9...
He got his catheter out!
Day 10...
He finally pooped!
Day 11...
Sam is sitting up on his own and playing with his favorite toy-spoons.
Day 13...
No bumps of morphine!
Day 14...
Sam was actually himself the entire day today! The little boy we know, who is very medically complex, but the happiest, easily and self entertained kid was back yesterday.
Day 15...
He’s completely weaned off the drugs we can’t take home and up to full feeds. Pray for another day like yesterday and no more surprises so we can bust this joint in the next few days!
Faith Over Fear!
Sam Strong!
A Better Day
Sam is very sedated, but has had a pretty good day.
Thanks to Pain and Palliative, he’s been more comfortable and his pain is being managed.
When he does wake up a little, he’s really out of it, but okay, versus yesterday, if he was awake, he was crying or grimacing. Today there has been less crying, less grimacing, and less bumps of morphine. Progress.
His blood pressures have been consistently high the last week. Sam has a history of high blood pressure. Gee, I wonder why. He’s been off all of his blood pressure meds for two years. Because of his history, Nephrology put him back on a medicine for now.
He ended up with pneumonia a few days ago and yesterday, his x-rays showed a tiny pleural effusion. The increase in oxygen wasn’t enough so he ended up on a vent for extra support.
Today, they are trying feeds again, but at a much slower rate, three milliliters per hour.
Today, they will try to slowly wean him of the vent as his lungs look better on today’s x-rays.
Looks like we'll be here longer than anticipated, but as long as he gets better, and he will, that’s okay.
You know Sam, he likes to win as many hearts as he can. Even when he’s barely moving, this kid is still stealing hearts.
Slow and steady wins the race.
Sam Strong!
Faith Over Fear!
Classic Sam
I wish I could tell you the last few days have been better, not worse.
I wish I could tell you his recovery is going smoothly.
I wish I could tell you we’ve been able to manage Sam’s pain.
I wish I could tell you we went down on the oxygen, not up.
I wish I could tell you Pseudomonas was not growing on the trach culture we decided to do the other day.
I wish I could tell you Sam’s turning the corner and he’s not been miserable the last few days.
I wish I could tell you we’ve gotten a good nights sleep the last few days.
I wish I could tell you Sam is using all of his signs (language) he knows and not just “help”.
I wish I could tell you he’s on less pain meds and has less IV poles, not more.
I wish I didn’t have tell you, he will be getting a PICC line later today.
I wish I could tell you we’re getting ready to go home.
I can tell you, we were able to take out his NG tube this morning, which has been hard to keep in the last few days.
I can tell you, clinically, leaking doesn’t look like what’s going on.
I can you, all of the appropriate measures are being taken to figure out the problem.
I can tell you, Pain and Palliative is now on board. They have been a game changer for Sam in the past.
I can tell you, although he’s on a lot more meds and pretty much sedated right now, he’s finally been comfortable for the last hour.
I can you, my little boy is a fighter and he will come out on top.
Please don’t stop praying for my sweet little boy.
Faith Over Fear!
Sam Strong!
Superman Sam Update
For most part, we’ve been able to manage Sam’s pain. When the morphine wears off, he’s not a happy camper. The Intensivist went up a little on his morphine today, but he’s not quite to the full dose. Pray we can go down, not up.
He had another good night until they had to put a permanent cath in him because he went for a second time without peeing. Bummer, but not the end of the world. The rest of his night was good.
We tried yesterday and today to wean him off the oxygen, but that didn’t go so well. We’ll try again tomorrow. Because of Sam’s pain, he’s been on scheduled morphine, which can mess with oxygen levels and the bladder.
Sam had a very major surgery on Wednesday. All of what’s happening is not out of the norm. Although, it’s not fun to watch, all of the docs are happy with what they are seeing so far.
We are not out of the water for leaking. Keep praying for no leaking.
Sam Strong!
Faith Over Fear!
Overall, Things Are Good
Sam had a pretty good night.
He hasn’t been awake too much today, but when he is, he’s pretty ticked off. Pray for pain management.
From a surgical and PICU standpoint, things look good.
He hasn’t peed yet so we’ll take prayers for that.
Continued prayers for no leaking.
It’s so hard watching him have to go through all of this. My goodness, this little guy is so strong!
Faith Over Fear!
Sam Strong!