You Can Do Hard Things
Thankfully, Sam rocked Covid. He only had a low grade fever for a day or two. Pretty sure I got it too, but besides a nasty cough and stuffiness, I felt fine.
A lot has happened the last few weeks, but I’ll spare you all the details. Sam’s PICC line has been quite naughty, which has lead to a lot more work on our part.
And now, we are in the hospital again. Ugh.
A few days ago (Super Bowl Sunday), he developed a fever. Not again. We got through the night, but his night nurse said he had a rough night. His infusion nurse nurse apologized before she told us she had to advise us to take him in. Like I said before, we have to be extra cautious with a PICC line because of the risk of a blood infection. I’m so done with this PICC line.
His infusion nurse already drew the necessary blood work while we were still at home. We packed Sam up along with his blood and headed to the ED. After a very long wait, and all the necessary tests, he tested positive for another virus (Adenovirus). Seriously. I thought we might get sent home, but with his labs being a bit off, they wanted to keep him for for a negative blood culture. Then we lost the PICC line in the ED, which meant Sam would have to be poked. &$!#%. Oops, forgive my language.
It’s nice to know we’re still welcomed.
It’s been a couple of rough days for him. He has been having seizures that seem to correlate when his fever spikes. Seizures aren’t new for him and aren’t a concern, but I just feel so bad for him. He has had happy moments in between being miserable. He was very proud of the cookie he frosted for me. Thank you to Child Life for this fun activity.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
He’s on the surgery schedule to get a new PICC line and a dilation for tomorrow. He was scheduled to have a dilation next week so now we won’t have to come back for that. Thank you to his team for making this happen. Vascular Access (PICC line people) need to have a forty-eight hour negative blood culture before they will clear him to get a new line placed. We are all confident it’s the virus that’s causing the fevers and not sepsis.
There are a lot of missed details in this post. The last few weeks have been tougher than our norm. I appreciate the doctors that walk through this journey with us on an emotional level. Sam has a lot of doctors on his team, and many that aren’t on his team, but who know him well. The doctor on call a few weekends ago, encouraged me more than I’m guessing she’ll ever know. Our conversation ended with, “You’ve got this. You can do hard things.” One of the many things that keeps you going as a medical mama.
Prayers for today. There will be no positive blood culture. Sam will kick this virus quickly. There will be no more seizures. We can continue to manage his fevers. He will be ‘healthy’ enough for surgery tomorrow.
Sam Strong
Faith Over Fear
The Plan
Ready for surgery!
Sam’s PICC line procedure went well, as we expected it would. He recovered great.
He’s been doing really well, but these four white walls get very boring, very fast for a curious, busy little boy. When the doctors ask what Sam is like when he’s healthy, I tell them he’s a combination of the Energizer Bunny and the Tasmanian devil. They always think that’s funny, but I’m actually not kidding. He’s not quite there yet, but we’re getting really close.
We love when Music Therapy comes and when Child Life brings new toys or other things to try keep Sam busy. We also improvise a lot, like playing in the sink for a while, coloring with crayons on the crib sheet, making a fort with the crib, ‘taping’ the walls with med tape, etc.
Music Therapy soothes the soul.
We’ll be stuck here until I’m done with the PICC line teaching and they get his TPN (nutrition) figured out. I had my first teaching today and will have another one on Sunday. We’ll be out on Monday, but have to go to St. Paul for his procedure that was scheduled a while ago. Then hopefully home Monday night!
That was the plan until it got changed again. Ugg. After that plan changed and my PICC line teaching this morning, I had a moment. Sometimes you just need a good cry. The bad news of having to stay longer and being overwhelmed with going home with a PICC line came crashing on my heart all at once.
In between the moments a friend sent me this.
AS YOU LOOK at the day before you, you see a twisted, complicated path, with branches going off in all directions. You wonder how you can possibly find your way through that maze. Then you remember the One who is with you always, holding you by your right hand. You recall My promise to guide you with My counsel, and you begin to relax. As you look again at the path ahead, you notice that a peaceful fog has settled over it, obscuring your view. You can see only a few steps in front of you, so you turn your attention more fully to Me and begin to enjoy My Presence.
The fog is a protection for you, calling you back into the present moment. Although I inhabit all of space and time, you can communicate with Me only here and now. Someday the fog will no longer be necessary, for you will have learned to keep your focus on Me and on the path just ahead of you.
Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. —PSALM 73:23–24
Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. —PSALM 25:4–5
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. —1 CORINTHIANS 13:12
Text From a Friend
The floodgates of tears came crashing after reading that. It was exactly what I needed in that exact moment. God continues to sustain me. It’s hard for me not to bring up my faith in these moments, because that is where all of my strength comes from.
The PICC line teaching felt like a lot. The nurses keep telling me if you can do a trach, you can do a PICC line. Very true. I still have another teaching and am incredibly thankful for home care nursing. I’m hoping, and guessing, I’ll feel better after another teaching. I got this!
The new plan is to go from here to the St. Paul campus for Sam’s endoscopy with his GI doctor and surgeon, then a bronchoscopy with his ENT. We have to stay a few nights in St. Paul until the pharmacy gets his TPN (nutrition) figured out for at home. Bummer. They tried to switch the procedure on Monday to Minneapolis, but couldn’t find any open OR (operating room) times.
Every time I have a minute to write, the plan changes! And now another new plan. They were able to get an OR time here so we will not have to transfer to St.Paul!!! Although we will need to be here for four to six more days for them to figure out his TPN (nutrition), not having to transfer to another hospital was the best news!!!
Prayers the plan will not change unless it involves us going home sooner. Prayers they can get his TPN figured out soon. Prayers for continued wisdom and discernment for Sam’s doctors. Prayers for healing for Sam’s gut. Continued prayers for peace, comfort, and strength for us.
Faith Over Fear
Sam Strong
It’s so good to see that smile again.
Thanks for making me better Sam!
Home Again
This time, seven days later, we were able to come home. Home sweet home. I was really surprised when the docs rounded that morning and said if things went well during the day, we could go home that evening. Generally, when Sam is inpatient, they make him be successful on formula for at least a day or two before we can go home. He was only on a mixture of half Pedialyte, half formula at this point. They were planning to start full formula later that morning. What?! Do I feel comfortable going home?! Absolutely! Isn’t this why we have home care nursing?!?! Before I knew going home was even on the table, I talked to Sam's hospital nurse at shift change that morning to let her know I was hoping to leave for a bit to go have an early dinner with my husband and celebrate our anniversary. She assured me they would have someone available to sit with Sam later. We didn't get to have dinner, but our gift of coming home was far better.
Grateful to a friend for the gift of pressed coffee and heavy cream.
Passing the time with bubbles.
Again, Sam is not back to his normal feeds, but we’ll get there. Poor kid has lost over five pounds in the last month and he doesn't have any fat to spare!
The prayer now is that the intussusception does not recur. It’s unlikely. We will focus on that. I asked the hospitalist what the threshold to bringing Sam in if he has similar symptoms again. He said, ”very, very low. Intussusception can be very scary…” I’m not sure what he said after that, I only know we better not hesitate if he shows any symptoms. It’s not going to be an issue, so it doesn’t matter.
Because of this second recent hospitalization, more than one of Sam’s docs highly recommended he stay out of school until after his surgery in Cincinnati. Bummer, but I get it. His pulmonologist was planning to have him quarantine two weeks before the surgery, so what’s two more weeks?
As we keep Sam in somewhat of bubble for the next month, pray he doesn’t catch anything. Like his gastroenterologist said, ”Let’s just get him to Cincinnati so he can finally have this surgery!” Agreed!
Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers for Sam and our family.
Sam Strong!
Faith Over Fear!
Prayers for Today
Sam is doing great. He hasn't had a painful episode in two full days. After resting his belly and a heavy dose of steroids, we get to start a very small amount (30 mls an hour) of Pedialyte today! Please pray his intestines will tolerate the Pedialyte.
Living in the hospital is not fun, but we make the best of it.
Music Therapy
Thankful for the services of Child Life.
One handed water play.
Easter is one of the only holidays Sam has not spent in the hospital. Sean was in charge of all things Easter this year and he nailed it with the meal and Easter baskets.
I’m SO happy to have all my people here.
Sure, you can hide eggs in a hospital room.
Time to eat!
I love my siblings.
Thanks Dad.
Don’t leave.
As the family was leaving yesterday, Sam started tugging on his IV to try take it off. He knows when the IV comes out, he gets to leave the hospital. Not yet buddy. I’m sorry. If that doesn’t tug at your heart strings, I don’t know what will.
Easter reminds me of hope and new life. I’m incredibly thankful for both.
Sam Strong!
Faith Over Fear!
HOME!
After seven days, Sam was able to come home! We are very thankful he is feeling better and it was a short stay, in our world.
If I added correctly, Sam has spent ten plus months of his life in the hospital and he’s only four. That also means he’s spent much more of his life at home. I’m not discounting the time in the hospital. I’m also not saying tears aren’t shed from exhaustion and other things on my part and pain and exhaustion on his. I’m not saying this isn’t REALLY, REALLY hard. I’m not saying to ignore the bad, but in my experience when we focus on the good instead of the bad, it’s harder for the negative to steal your joy.
FaceTime allowed me to stay on the phone with my daughter, off and on, for over three hours to “help” her bake a cake. She had some bumps along the way, but she didn’t give up. It was still pretty good four days later, when I was home to try it. I was a proud mama.
Every time we’re here, most of my family adapts with ease.
Every time we’re here, we meet more great nurses, doctors, respiratory therapists, etc.
Every time we’re here, I learn new tricks to help Sam and I adapt to living in a hospital.
Every time we’re here, Sam steals more hearts.
With an IV in, Sam can only use one hand. I get mesmerized by how he uses his one hand to play when he starts feeling better. The smarty pants even uses his mouth to push toys and objects in place.
This is the life of Sam. We didn’t choose it, but we have learned to adapt, be flexible, and make lemonade out of lemons. And this guy is SO worth it all.
Peek-a-boo!
I’m getting good at playing one handed.
Can’t Catch a Break!
This poor kid! We’ve landed ourselves in the hospital again. His pulmonologist said to bring him in if his symptoms didn’t get better. We brought him in on Tuesday morning. You would think by now, I would pack a “just in case” bag, but I really didn’t think we would be staying. Wrong.
On day two, after all the lab work ups, x-rays, and an ultrasound, Sam has two different tracheitis’ and rotavirus. His medical team and I were actually happy for the rotavirus diagnosis and not something more serious. It’s always nice to have an answer and not continue, what feels like, the guessing game.
He’s being treated for the tracheitis’ and they want to rest his tummy for a few days with IV fluids. He’s still miserable, but I am confident it won’t last too long. Hopefully, we can bust this joint in the next day or two. Hospital stays do not get easier the more you have.
On a side note, his dilation went well last week. He did need to be dilated, BUT his surgeon said we could start planning Cincinnati!!!
Thanks for praying for our sweet little boy and the rest of our family.
Sam Strong!
A Solid Two Days
I’m happy to report, Sam’s had two great days in a row! Sam is back to swooning all who enter the room. The rough days were due to ANOTHER infection brewing. Ugh. Darn hospitals. Thankfully, we caught and treated it quickly.
The bleeding is less. Although there is still differing of opinions on where the blood might be coming from, it’s not a huge concern right now. They are watching his hemoglobin levels, which have been overall good. If the blood continues, he will be simultaneously scoped by Pulmonology, ENT, GI, and Surgery, which we can come back for.
They have been able to control his blood pressure, with meds we can go home on, and he has been pooping. Today, for the first time in almost six weeks, he did not have any retching episodes! All good things!
The Care Conference could not have gone any better. It’s a bit emotionally overwhelming to sit in a room with several people who have played a role in saving Sam’s life the past four years. We have a good, solid plan that everyone was able to agree on. The tears were unavoidable as they thanked me for the role we’ve played at home, in caring for Sam. When they say, it takes a village, that might be an understatement when it comes to Sam.
I decided to save the best news for last. Drum roll, please. If Sam “follows the rules”, we’ll be home this weekend without the PICC line! Hallelujah!
Sam Strong!
Faith Over Fear!
Sam...
I’m going to spare you the many details of the last few days. Sam did have his dilation, and again, it was needed. Since then, there have been new reasons to keep everyone on their toes around here. I’ve had more than a few doctors and specialists tell me, they were pretty worried yesterday.
Today was a better day. Period. End of sentence.
Pray they will be able to figure out the source of the bleeding, or let’s believe it will stop all together. Pray for Sam to poop. 💩 Pray for his blood pressure. Pray for everyone who is on Sam’s care team and that they will all be able to make it to his Care Conference they are working on setting up.
Enough about that.
Right now, I am thankful for...
...Sam having a better day.
...doctors who lose sleep over my son.
...nurses who advocate for my son.
...being able to see my daughter yesterday.
...a family who continues to support us in so many different ways.
...being able to see my husband today.
...friends, who I know I can lean on.
...Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy, and Music Therspy in the hospital.
...the Ronald McDonald House Charity.
...all of you who continue to pray for Sam and the rest of my family.
Okay, okay, I’ll stop.
Faith Over Fear!
Sam Strong!